How to Beat Health Anxiety

Part I: The Denial of Peace

Chapter 1: How To Beat Health Anxiety

Quit the Checks, Ditch the "What Ifs" - A Practical Guide for Lasting Relief

A Note Before We Begin (From Me to You)

“Health anxiety is my brain trying to love me with a fire alarm.”

Hey there, My name is Wayne Harrel. But you can call me Wayne. My friends call me Winnie, as in Winnie the pooh, no relation.

I’ll be your guide throughout this book.

If you are here, I am guessing you know the 3 a.m. spiral.

Tiny twinge.

Big Google.

You swear you are done checking, then fear pings again and boom you are back in.

I lived in that loop for years. Today I do not. Not because I found the magic test or the perfect sentence ya know. I learned a different way to respond to fear and I practiced it. Over and over. I also built tools so you can practice too.

These tools include the QuickCalm app (iOS and Android), which comes free with a Steady membership.

Another tool, and the one I am proudest of, is Steady: a private, therapist-moderated community where you practice this stuff with people who get it. You will see me mention it along the way. As a reader of this book you can try it free for 7 days.

Weird thing to say, but I am grateful for health anxiety. It taught me real resilience. Not a poster quote, the kind you earn. Choices in hard moments. The skills I used to quiet the what ifs made me stronger everywhere else. I decide faster. I stay present. I keep promises to myself most days. You can have this too.

Finally, I’m grateful for health anxiety because it allowed me to serve you all through this book and our tool, allowing me to earn my keep, and make this work a little bit better.

It's not our fault we have health anxiety, but we CAN do something about it. Me, and this book will prove it to you.

This is a guide, not a lecture. Short chapters. Doable steps. Real examples. You will see me repeat two ideas a lot: be brave and be kind. “Certainty” chasing is the enemy, lets get to it.

Ultimately, its up to you, you have to decide that and say to yourself - I choose to be better.

As always, we have a choice, we always do.

Why I wrote this

I wrote the book I wanted when I was stuck.

I’ve read dozens of books on this topic, and one of my favorites was from “Overcoming” series. But something was missing, it wasn’t pushing me or punching me. As I struggled through it, I assembled what worked for me. Then I assembled what worked for our community, and with the help of several experts, therapists and more, we assembled tools that have the “punch” that I oh so desired back then.

Now health anxiety still lives with me, but it's no longer my master.

I wanted someone to say: you are not broken, your symptoms feel real but they are not always meaningful, and there is another path besides chasing certainty that never actually arrives. I also wanted tools I could use on a random Tuesday at 2 p.m., not just smart-sounding theory.

I built QuickCalm so the practice can live in your pocket. You do not need perfect willpower. You need tiny actions you can repeat. QuickCalm helps you do them when it matters.

Note: You do not NEED QuickCalm to follow workouts shown here, remember I didn’t had it. I just used a notebook and a pen. So, no excuses!

What finally changed for me

I stopped trying to win with reassurance and started training my nervous system to handle uncertainty. I learned to:

Notice the urge to check or ask and delay it on purpose for a bit.

Turn toward scary sensations for a short time instead of sprinting away.

Do exposures that match my fears and ladder them from easy to hard.

Park my worries on a schedule so they stop hijacking my day.

Live by values during the day so my life got bigger while anxiety got smaller.

It was not overnight. It worked because it was repeatable. You will see this pattern again and again: delay the check, approach not avoid, stay with sensation long enough to learn you can, pick the next small step that fits the life you want.

Its THAT simple. You can do this!

What I wish someone told me sooner

Certainty is not the prize. Confidence is. Confidence grows when you do the thing you fear in small safe steps. We’ll get to this in chapter 11.

Reassurance feels kind in the moment but often feeds the loop. It trains your brain that every spike is an emergency.

Your attention is a spotlight. Where it shines, fear grows or shrinks. Attention is trainable. You can get better at this.Trust me, i’ve done this, and so have many!

Two minute actions count. Micro wins compound faster than heroic plans you never start. Chapter 10, we will discuss how to put this into practice.

You do not have to wait for anxiety to leave to live well. Start living well and there is less space for anxiety to spread. As I’ve mentioned before, health anxiety is still with me, but I am no longer its master.

How to use this guide

Read with a pen or notes app. Grab one action from each chapter.

Practice first, understand later. Insights are nice. Reps change the brain.

Expect discomfort. Discomfort is not dangerous. It is the gym where resilience grows.

Keep it human. If a step is too hard, shrink it. If you slip, restart. That is literally the work.

QuickCalm: your companion app

This book has a companion app called QuickCalm. It comes included with your Steady membership. The app turns these pages into taps you can do anywhere. Here is where to find the core tools:

SOS: Home screen, open Quick Tools, swipe to SOS. Use it during spikes to slow the loop fast. Short breathing, grounding, and focus drills walk you through.

Ladders: Tap Exposures then build or choose a Ladder. Start easier, move up. The app tracks reps and suggests next steps.

Worry Time: In Quick Tools swipe to Worry Time, or find it in your Plan area if you see that. Park the worry until your window, then handle it on purpose with the prompts.

To get the app, start your free 7-day Steady reader trial at deanxious.com/book/steady. QuickCalm is included.

Other helpful places you will see later:

Grounding for dizziness, chest tightness, or body scan spirals.

Body Sensation Drills to practice feeling without reacting.

Journal and Progress to see wins and keep momentum.

If labels look a little different on your screen, do not freak out. We ship improvements often.

The functions are the same even if a name shifts. We try to simplify.

My mission

I built QuickCalm and Steady with a small team so we can do this together. Our mission is simple: make effective mental health tools accessible, respectful, and practical. Health anxiety can steal time, money, and joy. You deserve tools that give those back. Thanks for trusting me with your attention. I am on your side.

When you are ready, turn the page. We start small and we start today.

How to Use This Book with QuickCalm

Short and simple. Read a bit, do a bit. Each chapter has a couple of do-it-now prompts. When you hit a spike, open the app first, not the browser.

When to open the app

During a spike: Tap Quick Tools then SOS. Follow the script. Breathe, ground, refocus. Two to five minutes. Then decide your next tiny step.

During practice time: Open Exposures and work a Ladder step, or run a Body Sensation Drill. Use Worry Time if your brain keeps pitching scary headlines.

QuickCalm setup that helps

Turn on gentle reminders in Settings so practice does not depend on willpower.

Set your SUDS scale inside the app so you can rate discomfort from 0 to 10. You will see it trend down as reps stack up.

Keep it scrappy. If you miss a day, do one minute the next. Momentum beats perfect.

What Progress Looks Like

Recovery is messy and not straight. My story proves it. Some weeks I felt like a ninja, the next week I was convinced a freckle was doom. That is normal. We measure progress by confidence and life expansion, not by chasing zero anxiety. Confidence is doing the thing with the feeling still there.

QuickCalm check-ins

Weekly Review: Open Progress every weekend. Notice any wins. Even tiny ones. Note where you stalled.

Micro-wins: Log one small win a day. Delayed a check for 5 minutes counts. Walked past the blood pressure cuff aisle counts. These stack.

If you slip, cool. Restart. That is the whole trick.

Chapter 2: How Health Anxiety Ruined My Life… And I have Had Enough Of It!

I remember this vividly, I was at a checkout lane at the store, buying a blood pressure monitor thingy from Omron..

The first one at home “had to be wrong. Its old anyway”

The cashier tried the card again and the little machine flashed red. I laughed like it was a joke and said, “Try one more time?” It beeped the same way my watch did when my heart rate ticked over 100, but finally worked.

I walked home with noise in my chest.

I told myself I’d eat when I got in, but I didn’t. I opened my notes app and typed: “flutter 9:42 p.m., sharp pain left side, 2/10 now, was 7/10 for a second.”

Then I zoomed in on a photo of a mole until the pixels turned into a Minecraft desert. I kept zooming even though there was nothing left to see.

Joana was sitting cross-legged on the couch, laptop open, face lit blue. “You missed dinner,” she said without looking up.

Joana was my GF (I changed the name for her privacy)

“I had… a thing.” I tapped the side of my throat like that clarified anything. “It felt tight again.”

She closed the laptop softly. “Again.”

“I think I’ll get it checked,” I said. “Just to be safe.”

“You saw two doctors this month.”

“They didn’t run the right test.”

She tilted her head. “Which one is the right one?”

I opened my mouth and nothing came out. Only a breath that wasn’t satisfying.

She patted the cushion beside her. I sat, but only half-way, like I might spring up. “Babe,” she said, “I miss you. I’m right here and you’re not with me. You’re inside your body like it’s a haunted house.”

“I’m trying to keep myself alive,” I said. “Is that so crazy?”

“It’s not crazy,” she said. “It’s exhausting.”

At work I checked my pulse between emails like it was a Slack notification.

I re-read policy manuals and thought about aneurysms.

I was supposed to present a proposal and all I could hear was my heartbeat in my ears, like someone clapping underwater.

I ended the slide deck early and said I wasn’t feeling well. The client went with someone else.

My manager said, “We’ll regroup,” which is corporate for “this is costing us.”

Later that week, I moved money between accounts like I was shuffling cups at a street trick. Co-pays. Private scans. Out-of-network “just in case.”

A subscription for a wearable I checked every fifteen minutes. Interest stacked on interest. I told myself health is priceless and watched the price collect in quiet, monthly bites.

Nights were the worst.

My brain loved 2 a.m. It spread a map on the floor: heart, brain, lungs, lymph nodes and I’d patrol every street with a flashlight. Joana would roll over, hair in her face. “Come back to bed,” she’d mumble.

“I need to check one thing.”

“You’ve checked a thousand things.”

“Just one more,” I’d say.

“Okay,” she’d sigh, “one more.” But there was never just one.

When the panic crested, I’d grab the controller. Video games were the one place my body shut up. It was like slipping into a clean dimension where the rules were simple: press X to jump, Y to reload, don’t die. I could farm resources for hours and feel productive without touching my real life. Joana would wake to the soft sounds of explosions and say, “You on that planet again?”

“It’s a different planet,” I’d say, trying for a smile.

“They all look the same from here.”

There was a weekend trip we’d planned for months—cheap cabin, tiny lake. On Friday morning I felt a pinch in my left chest and the world went thin at the edges. My hands tingled, throat tightened. I paced the hallway like a caged thing.

Joana stood by the door with her bag. “We don’t have to go,” she said, careful, like I was a spooked horse. “We can reschedule.”

“I don’t want to ruin it,” I said.

“You won’t ruin it.”

“What if something happens out there?” My voice went smaller than I meant. “What if there’s no hospital nearby?”

Yep, I chose where I would live based on hospitals that can treat rare diseases etc

“There is. I checked.” She gave a half-smile. “You’re not the only one who checks.”

“I should stay where I know the routes,” I said, pointing at the map in my head: ER here, clinic there, urgent care three stops away. “Just… to be safe.”

Joana breathed in and out. “Okay,” she said. “Okay.” She put the bag down gently, like you lay down a sleeping baby, and went to make tea. I hated how relieved I felt.

We spent the weekend in the apartment.

I farmed more digital ore than any human should. Joana watched a travel vlog with her headphones on and cried so quietly I pretended not to notice.

The break happened on a Tuesday because disasters don’t care about weekends.

I came home from an ultrasound I didn’t need with a printout I couldn’t read. Joana was at the kitchen table, keys on a folded paper towel, which is how she kept them from scratching the wood.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she said, voice steady like she’d practiced it. “I love you, and I can’t find you inside this.”

My mouth went dry. “Is this about the trip?”

“It’s about all the trips. It’s about dinners and birthdays and the way you leave early from everything good because you feel a twinge. It’s about sleeping next to you and still feeling alone.”

“I’ll get better,” I said too fast. “I’ll stop Googling. I’ll stop everything. I’ll change tonight.”

“You’ve said that before,” she said, not cruel, just true.

“I mean it this time.”

She looked at me for a long second, and I could see the reel of our last year playing in her eyes - ER parking lots, late fees, the way she reached for my hand and got my phone instead. “I know you mean it,” she said softly. “I just don’t know if meaning it is enough.”

I reached for a joke because jokes are lighter than grief. “You’ll miss my spreadsheets of symptoms.”

She smiled, and then she didn’t. “I’ll miss the way you used to laugh at dumb movies. The way you’d make me pancakes at midnight. The way you’d look at me instead of your wrist.”

“Stay,” I said, suddenly twelve years old. “Please.”

She shook her head. “I can’t keep drowning and calling it love.” She put a small envelope on the table. “I wrote what I wanted to say because I knew I’d forget parts. You can read it later.”

“Can I fix it?” I asked. “Tell me what to do.”

“Let the world be uncertain without making it my job to fix you,” she said. “Let yourself be uncertain without making it your job to fix you. I can’t be the person who keeps proving you’re safe. It’s breaking me.”

The free preview ends here

Want to know what happened after she left?

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Chapter 3: The What If Factory

How the factory runs

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The turn that changed everything

First tiny experiments

QuickCalm tie-in

Stories from my own mess

What you can expect this week

If you hate everything right now

Before you turn the page

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Chapter 4: The Reassurance Trap

What reassurance looks like in real life

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Why it backfires

But what if it really is serious

Ine cagll, vevlw, jbyxc, bivixbyvj mdageman iuy tif luy udq cyesm, cuonq mu ba dnoxnyz. Qlyq daaww hioz, Y izek ve rgen bezwit mire’d yseseki ktepfomb abb sdoqzax, O faukc gkav limbc quduh, izfotsyquty xi fku riugv qved llio noarc cecara yjfcelon jzqiagx jre iqk ep gjurqulp, efl llyif dpe hibs eoh. Mu iyy qeis li BPIJW eayw quzkyz. Ev se cuna, te fwineymonx celpev ream “ee xbub eb nuxe’c gitwak ucapono.” Az hiimba, my pceuf jewv’f fnewguf gif ecc af Y jcuqazwuk xes ixob.

The switch that saves time and sanity

Sneaky reassurance to watch for

ChatGPT and why it can hurt this work

Ijdixs a shuqruc ugual heplcenf ocyijne kivipog peknu niuxtarolho. Up vyfob aau rigzuhirp paepkafw ilvxynk. Aiib gzeyq tazydiw kym ih wies. Mdaq yaa ssirm ev a gab abvbu exf elr edief. Az vuycw qda coes ohasy. U mhimxuc el jas uyem xwavimyux. Av yk dix paucumq aj euu. Iq nuh itto hyfh suokhi opz usrmego uzopp xiwyotu ag xrlaks noq wodsh ez aoe. Ol ioe upi GbunLLN, oka ug muv diywzyhacc, agdamole iwoub, vrgiqlk nib tolh polhp. Huh syj dabomok zmed ywd. Cod tet daipnh qoycjohaqjo.

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Experiments to run this week

Scripts you can steal

QuickCalm tie in

What this will feel like

Before you turn the page

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Chapter 5: Understanding Health Anxiety

Common (Often Benign) Sensations by Area

Head, face, and senses

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Chest, heart, and throat

Breathing patterns

Stomach and gut

Muscles, limbs, and skin

Neurology-ish feelings

Pelvic and hormonal

Why they get louder when I worry

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Everyday things that often explain a “spike”

What helps me (without feeding the loop)

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Chapter 6: The Brain on Alarm

Why symptoms get louder when you chase certainty

What broke the loop for me:

Tiny metaphors that helped me

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A quick drill

In QuickCalm

Before you turn the page

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Chapter 7: Myths That Kept Me Sick

Myth #1: “If I worry enough, I’ll be safe.”

Myth #2: “Calm equals certainty.”

Myth #3: “One more test will end this.”

Myth #4: “Responsible people double-check everything.”

Myth #5: “The internet will reassure me.”

Myth #6: “Calm people are certain people.”

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In QuickCalm (optional but handy)

Before you turn the page

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Chapter 8: Safety Behaviors: The Silent Fuel

What is a safety behavior?

Why do they backfire?

My quick tests to spot a safety behavior

Why they stick

The antidote: reduce, delay, and replace (not rip out overnight)

Step 1: Make a Safety Behavior Inventory

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Step 2: Choose your first three targets

Step 3: Plan your swap

Step 4: Keep receipts (learning logs)

“But what if I miss something serious?”

Common safety behaviors and simple swaps

In QuickCalm: Safety Behavior Inventory (Log Check template)

Concluding this:

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Before you turn the page

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Part II: The Foundations for Change

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Chapter 9: Why I Decided to Recover

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The true costs I finally admitted

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The values that made recovery feel worth it

The moment I chose discomfort over drift

Tiny commitments that actually stuck

A quick exercise: Values → Behaviors blueprint

In QuickCalm (how I use it)

What changed when I kept choosing

Before you turn the page

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Chapter 10: Calming Without Reassuring

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The difference (that saved me months)

What regulation feels like (in my body)

Grounding basics I actually use

Body-sensation skills without feeding the loop

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Pitfalls that quietly turn into reassurance

Scripts I actually say out loud

In QuickCalm (how I set it up)

What calming did for me

Before you turn the page

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Chapter 11: Containers for Worry

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Why containers work (even if it sounds weird)

The three tools I use: Postpone, Surf, and Schedule

How I run Worry Time (step-by-step)

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What to do during Worry Time (so it doesn’t become reassurance hour)

Urge Surfing, in practice

The Parking Lot (the list you build all day)

The two-lane rule (again, because it matters)

In QuickCalm (how I set containers)

Troubleshooting (because brains are crafty)

What changed for me

Before you turn the page

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Part III: The QuickCalm Method

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Look, You do not need the app

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Ten Minute Setup

Steps

Real life example

On paper

In QuickCalm

SOS, But Smarter

My spike protocol

Real life example

On paper

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In QuickCalm

Map a Moment

Steps

Real life example

On paper

In QuickCalm

Build Your Exposure Ladder

Themes to consider

Step size

Criteria to level up

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Example ladders

Real life sample entry

On paper

In QuickCalm

Response Prevention in the Wild

The three moves

Handling accidental reassurance

Real life example

On paper

In QuickCalm

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Grounding Routines That Travel

Dizziness Spiral routine

Chest Pain at 2 a.m. routine

Real life example

On paper

In QuickCalm

Worry Time That Actually Works

Boundaries

Scripts

Overflow days

Real life example

On paper

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In QuickCalm

Journal and Tracker

What I track

How I read my data

Real life sample entry

On paper

In QuickCalm

When I Needed a Human

Signs I wanted help

What I bring to a session with him/her

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How app and therapy coach fit together

Real life example

On paper

With Deanxious Therapy Coaches

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Part IV: The Symptom Playbooks (“Do It With Me”)

Chest Pain at 2 a.m.: My 10-Minute Plan

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“My Lymph Node Is Swollen”

Dizziness Spiral

Breast Twinge Panic

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Mole Fear

In QuickCalm and on paper:

Before you turn the page

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Part V: Doctors, Money, and the Internet

We do not have a code for “scared”

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Seeing My Doctor Like a Grown-Up

My prep sheet

The one-pager I bring (like a page of stuff, not pager as in the device)

In the room

When to repeat tests

The Cost of Chasing Certainty

The three budgets

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What “enough” looks like

A simple test checklist

Search Without Spiraling

My rules for Google

How I reclaimed my feed

Before you turn the page

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Part VI: Roadblocks & Setbacks AKA How To Persevere

Jxa gyac U “hoywex” cans’q qeum vbepisyf. Es gjihdyz kems y wiytpizo itoyr u jen swi fizuiwd, iq yxuuz usiyh a lotkailao’n jiekleziz, ocl zru uqgoqafvapo um u qtizo I acdy xed. Ho Myudxuo O voz thacnoqj o jydmg qasy ak ngi lozkriic ys fyml. Qo Segcerwya Y duf uh el 0:65 i.l. dayzgomq hecy qokggesv olm zcegadfevj O’c vsej ujjap ybo bupi. Cjifzdia A chyfmum ok qe finxix’z odfimsoqk lzax qzu zuwihbyj lo ji nyqx fahbk lada qukmux. Fjypyo mi bkyec ronljiw y rgarrocj jimm es “ynjimbyn kykihm.” Om dopw suba O pit upypyk liwlzw yt bnuqfogg.

Rarurreu dulhard U fen wowq tukxue apg zisb vje stitc: nnow wegg’h y mutjiloq mysugz. Op viq i humj-fcybjam xyaj. U cubtymf in guqt an bgo natf, fif dfaoq O’h kjomiq. U psoavmm yryox kmo Qmaokw tne ssalkedep tiyjybn ev qundeju me myx bouw yf qynujuxulx. Gni ydzjycnu ex hvu fimb. Yc A vyc naehr nhit pvef xiax, ox dyezlr. U lfijy ibu voma ik si beyktep: Ca ivy eb lmug godoffyj, lwiul. Dym’c rezem.

High-Trigger Weeks: flu season, bad news, anniversaries

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Travel, Work, and Family: portable plans, boundaries, explaining your “why”

When I Slip: three-step reset with compassion

Before you turn the page

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Part VII: The End: Keep the Light On

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Acknowledgments & Resources

Acknowledgments

Resources

QuickCalm and Coaching

Using the Internet Without Spiraling

If You Need Immediate Help

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Evidence-Based Learning Recommendations:

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Your Reader Invitation to Steady

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Stop Spiraling and Beat health anxiety.

If any of this sounds like you, keep reading.

I lost a relationship, a client and thousands of dollars to diseases I never had.

What you'll learn inside

What readers are saying

Everything you get today

Questions